Friday, May 05, 2006

Fool of the Week

This week the Fool of the Week is Abu Musab al-Zarqawi.

If you pull the curtain back, the terrorist at the top of the most wanted list turns out to be not the Wizard, but a bumbling man who can't operate his own weapon and is wearing American New Balance sneakers with his black-I'm-a-bad-ass outfit. Now that's entertainment.

Last week we saw a video released by al-Zarqawi showing off by firing a machine gun. But the U.S. military released a clip of the captured outtakes of the same video yesterday showing a different kind of terrorist leader.

Al-Zarqawi couldn't handle discharging the machine gun in fully automatic mode. An aide ordered another aide to go help him. The man walks over and fools around with the weapon so the clueless al-Zarqawi can fire it in bursts. Later an insurgent grabs the machine gun by the burning hot barrel and drops it.

Important documents were found along with the edited video. The info was captured last month in Yusufiya, just south of Baghdad where the insurgents have sympathy. Al-Zarqawi was thought to be in western or northern Iraq so the new info is helpful.

So, this big bad warrior doesn't understand how to operate his weapon of choice and has to order his entourage to clear the weapon when he jams it. And is nice and comfy in New Balance sneakers while he enjoys the show.


And speaking of idiots, a lesson can be learned from U.S. Rep. Patrick Kennedy, (D-RI), son of Teddy, from his accident in the wee hours yesterday morning. Ambien and Phenergan are not just for breakfast anymore! When taken together and said taker gets behind the wheel of his Ford Mustang, no good can come of it. Seems young Kennedy has learned lessons well at the knee of his daddy, the senior senator from Massachusetts.

Like his daddy before him, an intoxicated Patrick Kennedy was driving under the influence, of which he is now claiming were the aforementioned perscription drugs, and drove on over to the captiol building at 2:45 in the morning Thursday. He narrowly avoided taking out a police cruiser before crashing into a security barrier at the entrance to the grounds. He did not have the headlights on and upon crashing staggered out of the car. The police on guard at the entrance nabbed him and he told them he was a congressman on the way to a vote. Only problem with that alibi is that the House of Representatives had adjourned some three hours earlier. Kennedy was not given a breathalyser test as police higher up than the regular guards were on the scene by then and they told the beat patrol to stand down. The higher ups then simply put Kennedy into their car and drove him home.

From a page out of his daddy's playbook, young Kennedy kept the lid on this story until late Thursday afternoon. The news broke and he admitted he was in an accident, claimed not to have been drinking, and says he did not receive any preferential treatment. Then that statement was followed a while later into the evening with a statement from Kennedy that he was under the influence of Ambien and Phenergan.

Kennedy has a long and troubled history with substance abuse. He has been in and out of rehab. He has recently had incidents with hitting an airport security guard when she told him his carry on bag was too large, he trashed a rented luxury boat last summer, and he had a less dramatic traffic accident last month.

The guy needs some help. Had you or I been involved in his current dilemma, we would have not be driven home by a couple of sargents on the capitol police force. We would have been taken off for a different kind of ride.

1 comment:

srp said...

I think you have to include the police officers who were at the scene in the "fools of the week". Besides Kennedy in one respect was "no fool". He was aware enough of what he was doing to know that because he SAID he was going to the capitol for a vote, they wouldn't arrest him. Somehow there is a law on the books saying as much. Therefore, his claims of not knowing he had gotten out of bed and into his car must be taken with suspect.