About Last Night

As I mentioned yesterday, we were invited to a dinner last night. It was a fundraiser for Young Life here in this part of town and the main purpose, besides them begging for bucks, was to present the inaugural scholarship to a high school student active in the organization. The scholarship is named in remembrance of a former classmate of my son's and the son of a dear friend.

Jerry was quite a unique kid. He was a much loved only child of my friends Sandy and Tom. Jerry was very active in his church's youth group and was really excited to be moving up into the high school age group last year as he entered his freshman year at a local high school. Both he and my son were entering large public high schools after attending small, private schools through middle school. He was a good kid and enjoyed meeting people. He was active in theatre at school and church. He loved being in choir. Most of all he loved to travel. His family lives a very similar lifestyle to ours, with the husbands in the oil drilling biz and frequently traveling for work. Sandy took him on many trips, just the two of them when Tom was away. He loved traveling overseas to learn about foreign cultures and meet new people. He was partly of Japanese ancestry and spent a month in Japan before his freshman year in high school, studying Japanese (in which he was fluent) and hanging with Japanese teens.

In January 2005, during the long Martin Luther King holiday weekend, Jerry went with his church youth group on a skiing trip to Breckinridge, Colorado. On the day of their return, the kids went on one last run down the mountain. Jerry was on an intermediate advanced slope. This was only Jerry's second ski trip in his life, the first one being in the month before with a Young Life group during Christmas vacation and he injured a leg then. Anyway, bending to the urge that kids have to keep up with the group, which is my theory, he was going down this slope in January. He hit a tree and was instantly killed. He was 15 years old. Beginning the second semester of his freshman year.

Such an incredibly sad story. His parents have turned their grief into productive remembrances of Jerry's life. This is not at all surprising to those of us who know his parents. They are truly strong, wonderful people. And their faith is unquestioning. I will never forget Jerry's funeral as it was the largest turnout I have ever seen at a funeral. Over 2,000 people attended. Fortunately they are members of a huge old church!

I purchased a table for the dinner and invited 7 other people to join my husband, me and our son. There was a short reception, complete with cash bar, and then the dinner with a program. I invited the director of the middle school the boys had attended as she was an old friend of Jerry's from another school as a younger boy, two other friends of my son who were also former classmates of Jerry's, their parents and my son's girlfriend. I wore my Liz Claiborne black pantsuit, which seems to have fit the business casual description for this crowd. Son and hubby wore suits without ties. Hubby enjoyed his usual pre-dinner drinks and I was the designated driver. No problem with that. Dinner was pleasantly decent, considering my low opinion of food usually served at these functions. So, a pleasant evening was had by all.

The kids at our table were bored, of course and none of them are members of Young Life so they weren't particularly interested in the program but they were there to support Sandy and Tom. My husband and I feel it is important to teach kids about community altruism, as do the other parents at the table. We have all known each other since we came to the school we have in common in 4th grade and I think it is so great that the kids are all still in each other's lives even though they all go to different high schools. The kids all know they are tomorrow's fundraisers!

People can turn grief into bitterness and unproductive things or they can turn it around and truly honor the loved one's memory with positive memorials. Jerry is proud of his parents.