That's OK, I'll Do It

Good morning, Gentle Readers:
This morning a few truths became crystal clear to my foggy caffeine deprived brain. Apparently I am the only person in this house who is capable of:

Waking to the sound of an alarm clock.
Putting a wet towel in the hamper.
Closing a cabinet or pantry door.
Letting the dog out.
Letting the dog in.
Bringing the newspaper in from the front yard.
Going through said newspaper and separating out news sections from other crap.
Making a bed.
Dressing myself.
Fixing my own breakfast.
Getting my own self out the front door.

Interesting.